Is it sad that I have 50 contacts but 3 fans?

Someone told me I must be a loser but I told them, "no you're a loser!" Then... then they punch me in the mouth! So I had to give up carrots. My gay love is Elmer Fudd, don't tell him please don't! I'm so scared he won't chase after me if he knew I got punched! He loves me so and I wish he was on here so I can explain my love to him! How come no one ever emails me fan letters anymore? Most importantly, who is Spongebob Squarepants? Is he gay too? People say he always sleeps with Patrick, but likes Squidward more? If Squidward is really a squid I might just *gasp* hee hee!